Buro S1E10 - Perfectionism, why is it a real flaw?
Buro S1E10 - Perfectionism, why is it a real flaw?
I am a perfectionist and I have to talk to you about it!
I have to tell you, I am a perfectionist.
Through the years, I’ve noticed that perfectionism is often considered as a false flaw, like a way to say that you are a hard worker or a someone who care about the job. I’ve recently saw a job offer where one of the condition to be taken is being “Perfectionist”.
In reality, perfectionism is a real flow that slowly poisons the mind and rots decisions, self-confidence and future actions. As a perfectionist, I can say that this flaw kills multiple projects and make me lost countless hours of work.
In this edition I will talk about perfectionism and how overcome it. To create this newsletter I had the help of a psychologist. I recommend you to subscribe to Buro for more content like this!
Perfectionism?
Perfectionism [/pər-fĕk′shə-nĭz″əm/]: Tendency to want to do everything with an exaggerated concern for perfection.
Thomas Curran of the University of Bath and Andrew Hill of York St. John University identify 3 type of perfectionism*:
Self-oriented perfectionism: Imposing an irrational desire for perfection on oneself, often referred to as ‘positive perfectionism’, but the more inclined to have negative outcomes
Other-oriented perfectionism: Having unrealistic expectations on others, being overly critical & judgmental
Socially-prescribed perfectionism: Being highly self-critical & feeling immense pressure to be the best, fear of rejection by other for not meeting unattainable standards
Have you find your type of perfectionism?
If you are perfectionism, you should know that this personality trait come with its lot of negative traits:
Fear of failure: Overthinking or setting unattainable goals, leading to a fear of not being able to achieve them.
Unrealistically high expectations: When things don't go according to plan, perfectionists tend to feel guilty and blame themselves. They either wait for the perfect moment or work tirelessly to achieve perfection.
Never satisfied with their results or productions: They downplay compliments and neglect to celebrate their achievements, instead focusing on possible improvements.
Seek for approval: Paradoxically, they live for approval and recognition.
Danger & Threats
As you know, perfection is of course an impossibility in reality. Always seeking for an unattainable standard is not easy. I have a rigid all-or nothing thinking – Like every perfectionist – this means than I completely ignore nuances, everything I produce is necessarily good or bad, win or loose , perfect or trash, etc.
This daily and constant pressure leads to anxiety or mental fatigue. Perfectionism is a vicious circle a poison infiltrating your mind that could result into negative outcomes. The most common ones are:
Procrastination: Act of delaying tasks. Often due to setting unattainable expectations and waiting for perfect conditions, causing a constant sense of inadequacy or not being good enough. Procrastination has a significant impact on the ability to make progress and launch projects.
Feelings of unworthiness: Also known as the impostor syndrome, this is often accompanied by guilt for not doing enough, this belief that our efforts are never good enough can greatly affect our confidence.
Low self-esteem: a life of constant frustration. Frustration at never feeling good enough. Frustration at never accomplishing as much as we desire. Undermining the image with have on ourself.
Burnout: Exhaustion when the pressure to meet unrealistic standards becomes overwhelming.
Depression: Deep sadness, feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, helplessness, pessimism, or guilt. This can affect concentration, motivation, and daily functioning.
This is just a little selection of negative outcomes, but as always, this can go even further with Obsessive-compulsive disorder, eating disorder, or suicidal impulses.
Overcome the flaws
Even, if I know that making is learning and failures are part of the process, it’s hard to move beyond the rigid all-or-nothing thinking.
Everyday, I’m trying to overcome my perfectionism. For now, I don’t have a solution.
But, I’ve found that focusing on some works and try to prioritise what’s important is often working.
For instance, this newsletter is a way for me to overcome my perfectionism, because the deadline I have is thigh and don’t allow me to work for hours & hours on the text. The same with Jardin, one letter every week is complicated, find the piece I want to show, create a cover and share it to you on Friday is a lot, but is a great way to don’t spent indefinite hours on it.
I think overcome the perfectionism is a journey, everyone have is own path. But here is some keys to help you:
Know your priorities
Which result is expected?
Set realistic goals
A great way to set your objectives and be efficient is to use the SMART method. I could come back to it on another edition of Buro.
This is my journey into the perfectionist life. I’m feeling that I’m improving myself on this, even if it’s not easy everyday. But, I think knowing that I’m not alone and talking about it is in a way reassuring and a great way to push me to continue my process to overcome perfectionism.
Bye
I hope you have enjoyed this new Edition of Buro. I’m very pleased to be able to write about my flaw. I now want to know if you are touched by perfectionism and what have you though about this edition.
I also want to thanks Maurane for her help on this edition, it was great to have the advices of a specialist on this subject.
If you have appreciated edition, share it around you, that is supporting my work and reward me. This push me to continue to propose you this content in my non-native language!
You can also comment, or send me an email if you want.
See you next time for the next one.
May the Force be with you!